Broken or Fixed?
I Love You
ladygaffes
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Infatuated
I Love You
ladygaffes


Title: Infatuated
Length: Drabble.
Author:ladygaffes
Genre: Romance,
Pairing: YooSu/ Junchun.
Rating: Pg-13
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys, only the plot is mine.

Warning: unbeta-ed, a lot of grammar mistakes and short

Summary : He was forced into some changes that led him to this person.

He was not into technologies, he liked everything the old and classical way,New things make him feel changing and he disliked changes.

That have been hard on his flatmate and cousin Changmin, the computer engineer. Because receiving a letter after the sender came back from vacation while emails exist or finding on your fridge's door after spending 4 hours worrying that your cousin wasn't
kidnapped by ninjas but had to go somewhere and will be very late instead of receiving an SMS is something that nearly sent him to mental hospital. And with the remaining amount of sanity that his cousin had he managed to initiate him to computers, smartphones and Internet. He even had him opening a Facebook account.

The idea of being able to reunite even virtually with old friends was the main reason he accepted to open an account, so he searched for every single person that was stuck in his memories. Until he found him.


He wasn't an old friend , but they knew each other ; If fact he's the younger brother of his best friend when he was in university some 10 years ago but they have lost contact since he had graduated and moved from town. he was 14 at that time ,7 years younger than him.

Now they spent hours talking on social networks, over the phone or while having a walk downtown. The 24 years old boy grow into an athletic, still the top in class , handsome young man. Something that made it hard for him to see him as a dongsaeng anymore. He was smitten by him, he doesn't know why, when or how it just happened and he was infatuated.

Or was it more than infatuation ?

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.


Fix You 2/?
I Love You
ladygaffes
Title: Fix You 2/?
Length: Chaptered
Author:ladygaffes
Genre: Romance, Angst,
Pairing: YooSu
Rating: Pg-13
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys and the plot was inspired by Cold play's Fix you

Warning: unbeta-ed, a lot of grammar mistakes. if some is volunteering to beta it i'll be glad.

Summary: While his best friend Yoochun tells him "No one can beat the great Junsu in anything he does" Gook Soo his boyfriend tells him "Baby, don’t put too much hope so you won't be disappointed when you'll be told you didn't succeed"
Who Junsu should believe? his best friend or the one he loves and adores?


When you get what you want but not what you need



Junsu opened his eyes slowly, it was dark and he couldn’t remember where he was. He tried to focus but the headache he has wasn’t helping and he was thirsty.

He tried lifting his body but something was preventing him, his right hand was grasped firmly; He looked down but couldn’t see anything until he switched on the bedside lamp. It was Yoochun.

Yoochun was sound asleep on a chair next to his bed, in an uncomfortable position; it mad Junsu feel bad.

-Yoochun ah………….Chunnie~ wake up.

- Junsu? Are you okay?

- I have a headache and I’m thirsty but it’ll go away after I take an aspirin.

- I’ll bring it for you, wait a second.

- No~ you look tired get some proper rest, I’ll manage.

- shut up, and stay still. I’ll be back.

Junsu was rendered to silent, he was too tired to argue and the headache wasn’t helping. He closed his eyes and like lighting the memories stroke his brain. He remembered.

When Yoochun came back, Junsu was sobbing. With a sigh he put down the tray and sat down beside him on the bad.

-What’s wrong Junsu?

Junsu didn’t answer; he just wrapped his arms around Yoochun’s chest and hugged him tightly, when he felt Yoochun cradling his head, the sobs increased.

-Shhh …Calm down, calm down. I’m here, Bunny is here.

Yoochun repeated soothing words like a mantra until Junsu calmed down, and the sobs were reduced to hiccups.

-Can you tell me what happened now?

- I wasn’t casted; they said I’m not good enough. And that they gave the role to someone else.

- I’m sure they didn’t mean it like you understood it Junsu.

- They said I’m not fit to portray Luigi Lucheni.

- Not being fit to portray a character doesn’t mean you’re not a good actor. I’m a musician but I can’t play guitar does that mean I have less talent than someone who could play it? Huh?

- No, you are the best musician I know.

- I believe you when you tell me this. Do you trust me Junsu? Junsu let go of Yoochun to be able to look into his eyes.

-Of Course I trust you Yoochun.

-Even when I say you have a great talent and that you are one of the best musical actors in this country?

- Yes I believe you.

- So why are you crying like that, is there something else I don’t know? Did someone tell you something? Did you talk to Gook Soo shi? Junsu looked down.

- Damn it Junsu, What happened? Yoochun’s voice was firm but at the same time gentle.

-When I came home after the interview Gook Soo shi was going out.

- You told him? The question was more like a whisper; it was like Yoochun knew the answer but didn’t want to hear it.

- Yes, and he told me that he was expecting it and that he told me so; then…

- Then what? Yoochun hugged Junsu when he saw fresh tears falling down his cheeks.

- He left because he promised his friends to go out tonight, and told me to not wait for him because he’ll probably be late.

Junsu felt Yoochun’s grip on him tighten, and his breathing became rapid. Junsu knew this signs; Yoochun was angry, very very angry. And he knew Yoochun was going to give him a lecture on how he was giving in too much and that he needs to talk things out with his boyfriend if he doesn’t want to lose him; that he needs to tell him when he’s upset with him and not take everything in because when a couple’s life is monotonous, sooner or later one of them will get bored and will end the relationship. But Junsu was wrong, he was so very wrong this time.

-Junsu, I’ve had enough of this situation. I give up.

-What do you mean?

- I can’t stand it; it hurts to see you like this over a son of a bitch that didn’t appreciate you when there is someone that is willing to do so much to just be able to see you smile at him. I can’t lie to you anymore by pretending to give you advices on how to maintain your relationship when all I want is you breaking up with him. I can’t handle the fact that you’re not the Junsu I knew. Since the day you fell for that jerk, you changed. Where is the confident Junsu that auditioned for Cinderella’s role in high school? You even managed to persuade the art teacher to give you the role. Where is Junsu that came out the closet to his parent at the age of 14?

Junsu was chocked; he couldn’t comprehend what Yoochun was telling him. And he regretted not taking the aspirin earlier because he had a massive headache again. But he can’t do anything because Yoochun didn’t finish yet

-I used to scold you because you were so impulsive you acted before you think, but you always said that making the wrong choice isn’t bad what’s bad is to not correct it. I know you hate what you become today, but why the fuck didn’t you correct it? Why didn’t you break up with him?

- Because I love him.

Junsu didn’t know why he said that, he felt he needed to defend himself. He was satisfied with the answer until he saw the hurt in Yoochun’s eyes. Why is he regretting it now?

-You are a liar Junsu, You don’t love him. You are a coward that can’t face his mistakes. You always thought that you are good at judging people but not this time. You Thought Gook soo was a gentleman, that he loves you more than anything but it turned out that he’s a player and an unfaithful bastard.

- He’s not. Junsu whispered.

-Yes, he is. Do you think all the times you came to me crying saying that you are stressed over an audition or some dumb excuses I believed you. I knew it was always because he was unfaithful to you. The Junsu I know never stresses over music or acting.

All the defenses that Junsu built to protect himself from the truth that Yoochun blow at his face crumbled, he was suffocating and needed to go away from him. He stood up and tried to the safest and nearest place, the bathroom. But Yoochun prevented him by taking him from both arms.

-Let me go, I need to go.

Junsu’s tears were flowing like a river, he tried to angrily wipe it away but Yoochun’s grip on him was so tight he couldn’t.

-Why are you doing this to me? Why are you hurting me Yoochun? Why do you hate me?

-I’m doing this to you because I love you. I love you more than anything in this world; you are my muse and my inspiration.

-What are you saying? How? Since when?

-Since I first saw you back when we were kids when you smiled at that little cat.in fact I don’t remember any period in my life I wasn’t in love with you.

Junsu was still in shock; he had difficulty breathing and felt dizzy; he needed something to lean on. He took a step forward and pressed his forehead on Yoochun’s left shoulder; he sighed, he felt better now.

-Listen Junsu, I know I was harsh on you but you needed to hear that; I know you always wanted to prove to your parent that you’re not going to regretted the life you choose. That in fact you didn’t choose to be gay but that it was your identity. I know you wanted to show them that homosexuality isn’t a disease. You wanted to be in a relationship with a well-educated guy who has a good carrier to prove that homosexual are normal people. And you got what you want after you introduced your boyfriend to you parent but is it what you really need?

- I don’t know… why is it difficult to answer all your questions? Why can’t I defend myself?

- It’s because you always knew the truth, and I also believe that deep inside you always knew I love you.

Junsu left his head to deny, he would never put Yoochun through all this if he knew his best friend was in live with him. H would never hurt Yoochun because he loved Yoochun, certainly not like the latter loved him but what he feels about Yoochun is still love. Junsu was about to speak when he sensed movement near the bedroom door, His eyes widened. It was Gook Soo and he was looking at them intensely.







A/N: i know it took me a long time to update but i managed to do it at the end *pats head*. i'm not very satisfied with this chapter, so i need you to give your opinions to do better in the next chapter(s).

Thank you to those who read and commented, and also to the silent readers.

Fix You
I Love You
ladygaffes
Title: Fix You
Length: Chaptered
Author:ladygaffes
Genre: Romance, Angst,
Pairing: YooSu
Rating: Pg-13
Disclaimer: I don't own the boys and the plot was inspired by Cold play's Fix you
Warning: unbeta-ed, a lot of grammar mistakes. if some is volunteering to beta it i'll be glad.


Summary: while his best friend Yoochun tells him "No one can beat the great Junsu in anything he does" Gook Soo his boyfriend tells him "Baby, don’t put too much hope so you won't be disappointed when you'll be told you didn't get the role"
Who Junsu should believe?


1.1 When you try your best, but you don't succeed.


      Junsu was sweating buckets now, not only  because he run all the way from the bus station to the 17th floor of the biggest entertainment companies' building; running is nothing for him
He's a great athlete, his best friend Yoochun always told him that.


    "No one can beat the great Junsu in anything he does" And Junsu believes in Yoochun more than he believes in himself.

 
   Actually, the sweat is caused by his anxiety and the fear of failing. Last Wednesday he participated in the try out for a musical called “Elisabeth”, he auditioned for the role of
Luigi Lucheni, the Italian anarchist that will kill the Heroine.

    Last night he was called by the casting director, she didn’t say much except that he must be there at 4:00PM to know the result. So basically he doesn’t know yet if he passed the tests or not. He heard from some “regular” the company calls for all the participants even if they didn’t succeed to tell them exactly what went wrong as a way to help them improve in the future.


"Fuck" he's trying his hardest to stay optimistic by repeating Yoochun's last words when he dropped him at the train station this morning.


     "Listen Junsu, you got an amazing voice, one of the best that I've ever heard in my entire life. You know that I love music and that I travelled to many countries and went to a lot of concerts in each of them but I still can assure you that you are in my top 3 greatest artist list.  I’m majoring in music so you should be honored by my praise. But seriously you did great during the audition and I believe they'll entrust a role to you"


     A smile was drawn on Junsu face at the memory; his best friend always cheers him up even if he's not with him. But then he remembered Gook Soo; he's boyfriend’s words.


    «Baby, don’t put too much hope so you won't be disappointed when you'll be told you didn't get the role. Remember when you were so sure you'll be the school's football team's captain but couldn't because you were stupid enough to injure yourself the day before the competitions. And all those auditions you took but just got tiny roles. Concentrate more on your studies and forget about this hobby, and most of all stop listening to your stupid friend, you'll get nowhere with him trust me"


   Suddenly Junsu felt out of place, Gook Suk was probably right, how can he be stupid again and think that he'll succeed this time? He’ll fail in this audition like he did on all the other ones. Fortunately a buzzing sound woke him from his daydream, more like a "day mare".

It a text from Yoochun

      “Gook Soo is probably talking to you on the phone trying to reassure you.  I’ll just send you this text. You’re probably sweating, fidgeting on your seat and trying to over analyze everything that happen around you. So take a big intake and exhale okay, now listen you’re a great artist, you did well and I believe in you. Got that? I’ll be waiting for your call at night to fill me with details. I believe in you champ Fighting V (^_^) V”


And just like that the smile came back.

“Mr. Kim Junsu?” a petite lady was in the middle of the room trying to figure out which of them is Kim Junsu, so he stood up and bowed to her.

“Please come this way, the director is waiting for you” she didn’t give him time to emit a sound and disappeared into a door. He took a big inhale and exhale and followed her in.

“Oh Mr. Kim, it’s nice to meet you again. How have you been?” it was the Korean director but Sylvester Levay was there too and that made Junsu even more nervous.

“F-fine thank you, sir” Junsu couldn’t utter another word, he was paralyzed.

“So Mr. Kim we’re here so we can have a little briefing about your audition and points out your force and weakness. Are you ready?” the tone was equal, strict no variation which means no emotion could be revealed to Junsu who responded with a nod and an obviously forced smile.

  “So, I and Mr. Levay had watched your performance very closely and here is no doubt you are talented. You have a great voice and you seem to have the basics and with hard work you’ll have all what a musical singer needs to pierce in that field” Junsu is now sweating more, and the fake smile is disappearing bit by bit.

“Regarding you’re interpretation of Luigi Lucheni, you were good in trying to translate the words into expressions and feelings but it’s more about your face and your look, they neither reflect those of a person who may advocates the abolition of government and a social system based on voluntary cooperation nor those of a person who causes disorder or upheaval as the definition of anarchistic is put on the dictionary”

    Junsu is still nodding fervently, punctuating each of the director’s sentences, as if to tell him that he understands and that he had the same point of you as him. But Junsu didn’t is lost, at some point he understood that he failed again and now he’s brain stop even trying to hear what the director is saying. All he hears is; I need to go home in repeat. He only came back to reality when he heard his name called by the director.

“So Mr. Kim those are the reason why we choose another candidate to portrait the character” the directors eyes diverted to the door before he adds, “if  you’ll excuse me it seems that they need me, I’ll let Mr. Levay continue” he stood up, shook Junsu’s hand hurriedly and exited the room thru the same door Junsu came from.

Junsu diverted his gaze to support Mr. Levay’s one, he was on the verge of crying but he won’t let it show, he’ll bear it for few more seconds and just go home. The fact that Junsu didn’t understand English helped a lot for maintaining this calm façade because he was sure if he heard that he was good but not enough for them he’ll break down literally. But even with his little to no knowledge of English he could catch the “I’m sorry», «not chosen”, “Luigi Lucheni”, “you’ll do better” and “Thank you”.

For Junsu the last one was a clue, he stood up and bowed deeply to the world famous composer muttering a heavily accented thank you and then left with hurried steps that turned into a run when he reached the stairs.

Junsu didn’t know how he reached home, after fidgeting with his keys he could finally enter his apartment where he almost knock into his boyfriend. The latter was leaving the house apparently.

Oh Junsu, you’re home already?” he asked while wearing his shoes, Junsu couldn’t’ find his voice he just hummed an uh.

So how did it go? You didn’t get the role” another uh was heard but quieter this time.

“I hate to tell you this but I told you. Now you need to concentrate on you studies and me he was struggling with the other pair of shoes now when he wore it correctly he approached Junsu and gave him a peck on the lips before walking past him to the door.

“I’m going out baby, I promised some friends we’ll go out tonight. Don’t wait for me cause I’ll be late” and then he’s gone.

Junsu felt all the energy slip from his body as he falls on his knees, the tears started pulling down his cheeks like a river in few seconds. He felt abandoned. In a reflex his took out his phone and pressed the short cut to his best friend number. Yoochun is N° 1 on his phone list.

After one ring the phone was picked up

“Hi Su, how was it?” Yoochun’s voice sounds worried.

Junsu couldn’t talk; he was beating down his lips with so much force that he was sure he’ll soon rip it.

“Su, baby what happened? Please talk to me; you’re scaring me right now” but that still didn’t get any response from Junsu.

“I’ll be at your house in 10 minutes, and you better be there” Yoochun hang up then, even after hearing the annoying beeps Junsu didn’t put away the phone. He couldn’t he was still hanging unto Yoochun’s warm voice.

“Junsu, Junsu open the door” Junsu was woken up from his deep thoughts by Yoochun’s banging at his door. How much time has passed? How did Yoochun manage to come this fast? With fumbling legs Junsu dragged himself till he reached the door.

     The moment he saw his best friend uncontrollable sobs rocked his body so violently that anyone who sees him would think that he was feeling cold. He felt pathetic and insignificant, even his legs refused to support him as he felt them giving up on him. But before he could touch the floor strong arms encircled his frail frame, it wasn’t until he was clasped closely to Yoochun’s embrace that he realized he really felt cold and an urgent need to close his eyes.

   And that’s what he did; even Yoochun’s pleading calls for him to stay with him and not lose his conscience were ignored.



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